Rowling has often said that the last word of the final book will be scar. I'd like us to try and come up with that last sentence.

However, instead of it being the most likely or best written sentence, I'd like you to come up with the worst sentence possible in the tradition of The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.

This is an activity for everyone - not just people who thing they are good writers - because the whole idea is to write a very bad sentence!



The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (BLFC) is a tongue-in-cheek contest that takes place annually and is sponsored by the English Department of San José State University in San Jose, California. Entrants are invited "to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels" — that is, deliberately bad. A prize of US$250 is awarded.

The contest was initiated in 1982 by Professor Scott Rice and is named "in honor" of English novelist and playwright Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, author of the much-quoted first line "It was a dark and stormy night." This opening continues floridly:

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."

The first year of the competition attracted just three entries from on-campus, but it expanded to gain international attention and may attract as many as 10,000 entries in a year. There are also now several subcategories, such as detective fiction, romance novels, Western novels, and purple prose. Sentences that are notable but are judged not quite bad enough to merit the Grand Prize or a category prize are awarded Dishonorable Mentions.

The 2005 overall winner was Dan McKay, a Microsoft analyst from Fargo, North Dakota. His entry likened a woman's breasts to carburetors:

"As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual."

The 2006 overall winner was Jim Guigli, a retired mechanical designer for the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory, from Carmichael, California. "My motivation for entering the contest," he joked, "was to find a constructive outlet for my dementia." His entry was:

"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean."

Prior winners of the award include Gary Dahl, inventor of the pet rock, in the 2000 contest.



Staci // Ravenclaw